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This Is Why I'm Single

“This is a story of a girl who turned out wrong, because she only loved things that couldn’t love her back.” —Sophia, Skins

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(Source: unclefather, via ramblingsofanurbanjawn)


kinda want a boyfriend kinda wanna hook up with a boy kinda wanna never talk to any boys ever

(via gabrielladressedinyellow)

That time you confused a lesson for a soulmate.

— Dream Hampton  (via 5000letters)

(Source: tirhase, via alonesomes)

If they don’t reply to your texts — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t call you — they’re not interested in you.

If they forget your birthday — they’re not interested in you.

If they’re hung up on their ex — they’re not interested in you.

If they’re obsessed with being single — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t want to meet your friends — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t want you to meet their friends — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t ask questions about your life — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t tell you things about their life — they’re not interested in you.

If they only speak to you when they want to have sex with you — they’re not interested in you.

If they only have sex with you when they’re drunk — they’re not interested in you.

If they say “should we just keep this between us?’ after you have sex with them — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t have sex with you — they’re not interested in you.

If they can always find a psychobabble rationale about who “I am” or “you are” or “we are” as reason why you can’t be together — they’re not interested in you.

If they have said for more than six months that they would like to be with you “BUT” — they’re not interested in you.

And if you still need convincing — think of it this way. Think of what the real day-to-day of life is taken up by. Life is birthday parties at terrible pubs. Life is losing your credit card and the annual Melbourne Cup sweepstake in the office. Life is hen’s nights, bucks’ nights, sitting on the phone for three hours to get U2 tickets and not getting them, the apartment upstairs flooding your house, interval training, calorie counting, cancer scares, illegal mini cabs, Secret Santa, rail replacement buses and Dido albums. Dogs die, cars crash, bin liners break, contracts end, curtain rails collapse, trains get delayed, football teams lose. Divorce happens and so do earthquakes and so does An Audience With Michael Bublé. Landlords put rent up, phones get stolen and the supermarket often completely runs out of hummus.

Now, taking all of the above into account — you look me dead in the eye and tell me the truth. Do you really have enough spare energy to pursue someone who isn’t interested in you? Do you really want to waste any more time on top of all of that? No. Me neither. So give it up, my friend. It’s a loser’s game. Delete their number. Don’t go on any more dates with them. Stop lurking their Facebook page. Feels good, doesn’t it?

— Dolly Alderton (via gaslightgoodbye)

(via geekscoutcookies)





i just got a message from this man on okcupid and i am VERY VERY VERY freaked out that this person exists and lives within fifteen minutes of me


omg i literally fell over i was laughing so hard

i can’t even summarize this trainwreck in a general sense. what a fucking mESS


My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard. GRAVEYARD hahaha enjoy that cyanide milkshake you piece of shit

(via gabrielladressedinyellow)


don’t feel bad if you’re single because it just means you’re the best in the album

(via geekscoutcookies)

(via jessehimself)


They went home and told their wives, 
that never once in all their lives, 
had they known a girl like me, 
But… They went home.

They said my house was licking clean, 
no word I spoke was ever mean, 
I had an air of mystery, 
But… They went home.

My praises were on all men’s lips, 
they liked my smile, my wit, my hips, 
they’d spend one night, or two or three.

Maya Angelou

(via geekscoutcookies)

(Source: punwitch, via charlespudding)

Meet a guy. Don’t remember how you met, don’t care when you met, faintly recall where you met. Let it be insignificant, let him be insignificant.
Forget him, forget he made you laugh 15 seconds into your conversation, forget how nice his eyes are, forget how flattered you were when he noticed how nice your eyes are, forget him.
Let him find you, a mutual friend with your phone number/iMessage/Facebook
Remember him, remember you’re really into funny guys, remember his eyes made your heart melt, remember he said the same about yours, be glad you remember him.
Talk to him. Tell him about your life, tell him about your aspirations, tell him about your demons, demons you’re struggling to overcome. Listen to him, listen to his life story, listen to his millionaire scheme, listen until it’s an addiction, an addiction you’re struggling to overcome.
Don’t talk to him. Check your phone, check your social networks. don’t talk to him. Check your phone again, check your social networks again. Don’t talk to him. He has to talk to you first, after all he’s insignificant.
Decide to forget him. Try to forget him. Fake forgetting him. Check your phone, talk to him, he called. Forget to forget him.
Flinch when he touches your hair. Flinch so he stops. Long for him to continue. Flinch when he continues. Like his cologne. Let him hug you. Let him hold you. Like his cologne some more. Be glad you smell like him when he leaves. Decide you’re in love. You’re in love with his cologne and tight hugs.
Talk to him, more. Talk to him till theres silence for ages, but you’re still “talking”
Make mental notes of things to tell him when you aren’t talking.
Let him flatter you, let him compliment your flaws, let him make you feel beautiful. Believe he is lying to you, let him.
Be glad when he hugs you. Be glad he hasn’t changed his cologne, be glad you can talk to him, be glad you can listen.
Watch him fall. Watch him long. Watch him lust. Watch him succeed. Watch him with a fallen heart, watch him long-fully, watch what you lost, watch and know you failed.
Watch them talk, and know he spoke to you differently. Watch them hug, and know he hugged you differently. Watch her smile, and know you smiled the same way.
Hate his clothes, hate his smile, hate his cologne. Hate his cologne some more.
Check your phone, check your social networks, don’t talk to him. Check your phone again, don’t talk to him, he called, don’t talk to him.
Be in the same place as him, Ignore him, acknowledge him, still ignore him.
Acknowledge that he is watching you, Ignore him. Let your eyes meet his. Remember how nice his eyes are, remember he said yours were too. Remember to forget him.





(Source: tldrwikipedia, via geekscoutcookies)