This Is Why I'm Single

ramblingsofanurbanjawn:

gdharpo:

mntrose:

The most horrific thing about getting close to someone is the thought that at any point, they could lose complete interest in you

So relevant.

I had a blind date during which the woman asked me—an hour into it—if she could cut me if we ended up having sex. I was trying to be calm, so I asked, ‘With what?’ She said, ‘A knife.’ And I said, ‘Where?’ And she said, ‘Chest.’ I said, ‘Yeah…no.’

— Paul Adelstein on his worst date

Documentation of my attempts at dating.

I have convinced myself that I’m over him. I don’t need to talk to him. I don’t need to see him.

I’m done with him.

And I have plans tonight with another guy. But the minute he calls to say hi, my plans are going to change. I’m going to go out with him. I’m going to fall all over again.

The process will start over. It’ll break my heart and yet I’ll do it all again.

Because he means that much. Doesn’t he know that? Don’t I mean the same to him?

No. He doesn’t know and I’m just another girl to him.

This is the longest i’ve ever been single.

brain-food:

And usually i would take this opportunity to either ugly cry myself to sleep or motivate the fuck out of myself to Beyonce’s entire discography on Spotify. However, i find myself just shrugging at the entire notion that i even care about how long i’ve been single. 

I’m tired. I don’t want to chase and i don’t want to be chased. I want a relationship to be verified by impromptu high fives and the fact that they’ve stuck around long enough for me to start unraveling that 2nd player controller thats been collecting dust next to my XBOX. 

If i’m still single by next year, that’s fine. If i’m in a relationship by next year, that’s fine. I just kinda don’t give a shit about the outcome either way. Which is not only liberating but also frightening. Mainly because society wants me to believe i’m emotionally broken and i consider it as light traveling. 

(Source: eridick-amporna, via sirwhindleton-deactivated201305)

youaintshitok:

now if this ain’t the got damn truth.

(Source: mocha199, via geekscoutcookies)

Adulting classic: Do not expect “closure”, ever, on anything

adulting:

This is a sad thing to post about, because show me someone who is seeking “closure” and I will show you someone who is not having a Happy Time. But that doesn’t make closure any more of a real thing that exists than, say, kind and gentle unicorns who think you are pretty and are eager to read your unpublished novel.

Because what you mean when you say “closure” is “magical verbal bullet that will make me not feel like shit, even though I’ve just been dumped.” And that, sadly, is not something that exists anywhere in this world.

Here is how you imagine a conversation that will provide “closure” would go:

You: Why did you break up with me?

Person That Broke Your Heart: Because you were too incredible, and way funnier than I am, and I felt like you could fly ever higher once you weren’t weighed down by me. I loved you so much that it felt selfish to spend one more second with you, because you have already brought me five lifetimes’ worth of joy.

You: Oh. Well, when you put it that way. 

But if someone were going to be honest about the reasons they broke up with you, here’s how a “closure” conversation would go:

You: Why did you break up with me?

PTBYH: Because I knew I couldn’t stand a lifetime of that humming noise you make when you chew, and I’m tired of having sex with you and want to have sex with other people — people who aren’t you, and who don’t make that humming noise. Also, my mom doesn’t like you.

You: Oh. Well, when you put it that way. 

And really, his or her reasons can probably not be verbalized. Think about the last time you broke up with someone without obvious cause (i.e., cheating, substance abuse, etc.) If that person demanded an explanation, could you give one? And would you want to give one? No and no.

So wait for closure if you wish, but you will save yourself a good deal of time and angst by accepting that it doesn’t matter why it didn’t work, only that it didn’t work. Some things will eventually close. Some things will never quite close. In the meantime, all you can focus on is moving forward.

Are you following Adulting? Because you should be following Adulting.

I Think We Should Just Be Friends →

“It’s not heartbreak, you think. You have to be in love to have heartbreak. It has to be a boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or partner walking out on you for it to be heartbreak, the type where it feels like your insides have been put through a blender. And you weren’t actually going out with them, were you? Just dating them. Though it had been a couple of months, and you were kind of hoping that they’d look up and actually ask you to make it official, but instead the opposite had happened. That’s what you get for being optimistic, you think.

So, you wonder if you’re even entitled to feeling upset. Probably not, but you can’t feel guilty for having emotions. This must be something else if it’s not heartbreak. Heart-scraped knees. Heartbruise.”

edgarsucks:

I’m either mediocre looking or so awe strikingly beautiful every attractive guy in the entire world is too intimidated to talk to me. I’m not saying I’m leaning on the latter, but I do have a gorgeous tooth to gum proportion. 

sometimes you have to nonchalantly excuse yourself from the group, go around back, and lock yourself in the bathroom stall for a while because you liked him and he kissed her and it’s not about this moment on its own, it’s about how it adds to the aggregate, the leitmotif of your lonely life of feeling so unpicked, so you stand in there in your shame and your hurt and you try not to finish the thoughts that start with “If I were prettier…” because you’re just the amount of pretty that you are, for better or worse—and this feels like worse—and you take deep breaths, because red eyes would give you away

and you unlock the door
you go back inside
rejoin your friends
and you pretend like it never happened

bubblegumtwink:

let this be a lesson

(Source: humortrain, via absolutelyiris)